ACHIEVING A FULFILLED PARENTING

Raising God-conscious, moral and successful children with a sense of civic responsibility in today’s world is not easy. It is also not impossible. Effective parenting is the key. As parent struggle to raise successful children, they need knowledge and skills to communicate wisely with their children and create happy, loving family relationship and homes. Here are some tips to achieve effective parenting

Boosting your child’s self-esteem; kids start developing their sense of self-esteem as babies when they themselves through their parent eyes, your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem as more than anything else.

Praising accomplishment, however small, will make them feel proud. Letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably will make kids feel worthless.

The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: “you made your bed without being asked – that’s fantastic!” This statement will do more to encourage good behavior over a long run than repeated scolding

2. Set limits and be consistent with your Discipline: Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults. Establishing house rules helps understand your expectation and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed. You might want to have a system in place: one warning, followed by consequence such as “time out” or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is failure to follow through the consequences.

3. • Make time for your Kids: Parent should do their best to be available when their teens does express a desire to talk. Arrange flex time at work if you can. Don’t invite rebellion by refusing to acknowledge that your kids is growing up and need more freedom, but don’t hesitate to ask where your kids are going, who they will be with and what they will be doing. Try to get to know their friends and the parents so you are familiar with their activities.

4. Be a good Role Model: Young kid learn a lot about how to act while watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you miss-handle an aggression in front of your child think about this: is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you’re constantly being watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression from home.

Model the traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness and tolerance.

Exhibit unselfish behavior. Express thanks and offer compliments

5. Make communication a priority; communication is where most parents failed, Some kids regretfully say there are things they can’t share with their parents, either because they won’t listen, won’t understand or will over react. Your ability in good parenting involves knowing what’s happening in your child’s life. Communication is made possible when you find ways to talk about difficult issues in a manner that he or she feels comfortable sharing with you.

Provide a forum for discussion. Schedule any topic of concern to any of the kids. Ensure such forum are held regularly with ground rules. For instance, everyone will get to talk at a time without interruption and only positive, construction feedback is allowed

Pray and eat meals together: Teach your kids about religion, let them know the importance of praying to God. Cultivate the habit of praying together and sharing important sermons and religious stories; make them responsible by asking for lessons learnt. Try as much often as you can to eat together. Meals times are great opportunities to talk about the day’s events. They are also your best opportunity to keep in touch with your kids’ life and challenges.

In conclusion, effective parenting plays a vital role in whether a child becomes a productive member of the society or not. It helps the child develop properly and helps him/her to have the right mindset about life and its challenges

By Raheem Nojeem Tokunbo                 

A parent